Unpacking the Past Week

I just needed to take a few minutes and reprocess the week I just had. I don't think my head and my heart are quite in sync. My logical brain understands what went on, but my heart is a little slow to catch up. I understand what I experienced, but I don't think I feel the emotional magnitude of everything that happened.

For starters, my personal life expanded. I started working again. The last time I went to work was the week after New Year's in 2013. I only worked for 3 days in 2013 because Lily was born the Sunday following New Year's. Since she was premature and had to be in the NICU, there was no question about me trying to stay at my job. I had been up front with my boss that once I had the baby, that would mean the end of my working for her. I was her personal assistant, and while I absolutely adored my job, and got along swimmingly with my boss, I had no intention of working post pardum.


Even the word "post pardum" still gives me the heebie-jeebies. I had a much more difficult time recovering after Lily's birth than I did with Carrick's. He was 3 lbs, 9oz, and she was 5lbs, 2oz. He practically slid out of me, while I had to actually push to get Lily out. Having stitches this time around only added to the burden of healing "down there".








Not only was I trying to heal, but I was trying to hold down the fort at home as much as possible for the sake of Carrick. I had some help, but for the most part, it was still up to me to drop him off at daycare, then commute to Flagstaff to spend time with my preemie little girl. All that driving around wreaked  havoc on my post pardum recovery. Sitting, sitting, and more sitting did nothing to help. If I had tried to add to my load of the needs of my boss, I would have had a complete meltdown. Nope, I had to focus on my daughter, my family, and myself, there was no room for work.

Lily was healthy, except for the fact that she was 7 weeks early, and just needed a few weeks to adjust to being on the outside rather than still on the inside. As for me, I was struggling with staying healthy after giving birth. I was driving an hour each way to the NICU, every day for 22 days. Then sitting in the hospital holding Lily for 4-5 hours. After that, I was coming home exhausted, just wanting to sit down. All that sitting made the healing process slow and painful.



Now that Lily is 20 months old, she is way past the preemie stage. Nothing about her says preemie anymore. She has been developmentally caught up since 6 months old. She weighs 23 lbs and is 33 inches long, so she's not struggling in the growth department, either. My mommy hindsight being 20/20 with Carrick, I realized that I waited longer than what was necessary to go back to work. I started him out in daycare at 18 months, but we could only afford one day a week. (Even then, I only put him in for a half day, just because I didn't want to scar him with separation from mommy. Looking back, he would not have known the difference between a full and a half day.)

So earlier this year, when Corey decided it was time for a job change, we agreed that we could get by this summer on him earning a little less, and me still not working, but by the time fall rolls around, this mama should go back to work. So I have had all summer to think about what that will be like. I knew that Lily would go to daycare, I knew I would not spend all my time at home or with the kids. But wow, did that summer go by fast!

One of the many jewelry pieces
created at the studio.

So here I am, on the other side of my first week back to work, and I survived. I found a job that pays me just enough to cover Lily's daycare cost and have some left over to give back to the family. I can also work the hours I need to that fit around the school and the daycare hours. I work for an artist not demanding. I have energy after I get off work to come home and still do the laundry and play with the kids. That was probably the most important aspect of me going back to work. I didn't want to come home exhausted and frazzled and not enjoy time with the people I truly love.

That also means that I am on the other side of putting Lily into daycare. I took her to visit the class three days on the week before she started. I wanted her to see her new environment, see the teacher, maybe even recognize him, and get excited about the toys that were there. She was a little shy at first, but by the third day, she didn't want to leave. We were only there for 10 minutes each day, so it wasn't like I was testing to see how she would do when I actually left.

The first day of actually saying "goodbye", Corey came with me. I am so glad he did. Hearing her cry, "Dada!" instead of "Mama!" made it a little easier when we walked out of the classroom. The guy in charge of her class is a father of 4, soon to be 5, so he has a very paternal instinct. He holds the kids who cry. He tries to soothe them, and he is very kind-hearted.  I felt so much better about leaving her than I did when I first left Carrick at daycare. I remember crying in the car after dropping him off for the first time. But with Lily, I had been through it once before, and it eased the strain of letting go. I knew she was in good hands and that she'd be ok.

She woke all the children up during nap time on the first two full days of attendance. Since she is still nursing, she's used to waking up and having mommy's booboos available. Since mommy wasn't there to nurse her, she cried, and one by one, the kids woke up from her crying. The teacher was more concerned for her well-being than for the other kids when he told me what happened. He didn't want her in distress without a way to soothe her. So on the third day, I gave her a sippy cup with almond milk. He said that her day went much better because of that. She clutched that sippy cup all day long. Then when she woke up (before every one else), he sat with her and read a book while she had her sippy cup. No tears. Yay!

Thanks for listening. I feel more in sync now.

Next time....Karate Class.....yes, that also happened last week.

What I Learned from Playing Angry Birds

About two weeks ago, Carrick was playing on my phone while we were grocery shopping. He had an ad pop up for a new Angry Birds game while he was playing Space Angry Birds. He asked if we could get the new Angry Birds game on my phone. I told him I would download it for him when we got home. "It's called 'Angry Birds Epic'", he told me when I asked him which one he wanted. I found it on Google Play Store and put it on my phone.

Since he was starting school in a matter of days, I let him play it all weekend, well, except for when my phone was charging. I then made the mistake of looking at the game. I clicked on a flag to play a level. And then I discovered why he was playing it so much. This game is addictive!

It's a turn-based role-playing game, sort of like Lord of the Rings. You have to take turns fighting, and the bad guys get their turn to fight back. There are wizards, clerics, rogues, and even pirates! Never before have I ever been interested in playing Angry Birds. I did it for a few weeks last year when we were living away from home and had no TV, no internet, no computer, and I needed something to pass the time during Lily's naps. But this game has quickly become a favorite in the Sheridan house. It's something Corey, Carrick and I can all discuss in detail. Here are a few revelations I have had in the week that I have been playing Angry Birds Epic:




1. It's OK to fail. When I lost my first battle, I knew there would be another chance to win. All I had to do was rethink my strategy. Sometimes, that's not enough. Sometimes just using a different bird, or changing up the equipment makes a difference in the battle. There will always be another chance to prove myself, all it takes is looking at the battle (or problem) from a different angle. The failure gives me the the opportunity to test my ability to regroup and come up with a different solution.

2. Be resourceful. Sometimes in a battle, things aren't going the way I want them to. But by using all the tricks up the Angry Birds' sleeves, I might be able to scrape by. Resourcefulness also comes in handy when brewing potions, or forging materials. I can also go back to replay battles I have already won to get more supplies. I can then turn them into things that will be of benefit during a more difficult battle.

3. Teamwork. I learned early on to use Red Angry Bird to protect, White Angry Bird to heal, and Black Angry Bird to do the actual fighting. Through their teamwork, I was able to keep all my birds alive, defeat the bad piggies, and gain more treasure in the end. They each work together to achieve the common goal, and neither can win the battle without the help of the other two.

4. Be patient. There are some battles, like the one I mentioned in #3, that require tremendous patience. When I use the three birds in tandem to heal, protect, and fight, it takes way longer to battle all of the piggies. However,
if they are all alive at the end of the battle, there is better treasure. If the battle is rushed, one or all of the birds could die. So taking it slower for the long-term gain yields greater rewards.






5. Share. This one is hard, but I have learned to be better at it. Normally, I only let Carrick play on my phone for very limited amounts of time. Or
I let him use it on special occasions, like when we dine out and he's done eating. But, as it turns out, mommy likes to play this game just as much as he does. So, that requires a bit of sharing. I can't just glue myself to my phone and tell him 'no'. I am modeling the exact behavior that I don't want him doing. But if I fight a battle and then let him fight a battle, we get to share in the experience together. (And I refuse to allow a gaming console in our house, even though Corey might be sitting on the couch next to us playing the same game on his phone.) So Carrick and mommy have both become very good at sharing.

Kindergarten

I don't know how it happened, I truly don't. I feel like I have walked with this child since he came into this world two months early, weighing 3 lbs and 9oz. But somehow, along our walk, he grew. He changed into a tiny little man who says words like, "tremendous" and "parasaurolophus". I knew this day would come, I knew about it last year, when I started researching schools, I knew about it this year, when he left his last day of preschool, but I didn't expect it to actually come.

It felt like one of those far-off days that I had all the time in the world to wait for, like a wedding or a graduation. But here it is, whether I'm ready for it or not...Carrick's first day of kindergarten.

Today wasn't even the real first day, it was a day for the teacher to get to know the new students. She teaches Montessori at the public school, so there are some children that will be returning from last school year. However, there are many of them that are new to school, or new to Montessori, and today was for them. (And the parents.)

Carrick's teacher gathered them all around a tape square in the middle of the room. She even let Carrick blow out the candle that he had burning in the middle of the square. As soon as she sat down and began her introduction, Carrick's hand shot into the air, eager to share something with his new teacher. She acknowledged his attempt to get her attention, then continued. When she was done speaking, she called on Carrick, who immediately went into a long-winded monologue about how he wants her to teach him about babies, how he already knows about oceans, and how a train should be built next to his house and he would call it "Trackdale".

I can laugh about it now, but at the moment, I was mortified. I just wanted my son to sit down, and pay attention, and be quiet like the rest of the kids. But that's not him and that's why I chose this teacher and this class.

When I toured the kindergartens offered at the public school this past December, I was with the principal. She gave me a tour of the campus (which I was mostly familiar with) as well as a chance to observe the Montessori and the regular kindergartens. Of the two classrooms, I saw, I came in during a transition period in each one. The way the teachers and the class interacted during these transitions were like night and day.

I knew that even though the teacher in the regular kindergarten was accomplished, and had her entire class reading already, Carrick would get lost in that environment. The noise, the chaos, the sheer number of students would cause him to freak out, get in trouble, or get lost in the shuffle.

When I saw how the Montessori teacher handled the transition period, my breath caught in my throat. I thought, "This woman will be able to handle Carrick". She has been teaching for 41 years, and has the biggest heart, and the most understanding mind for her students. I was reassured of this after the "lesson" was over today.

So, back to today; she took the parents on a tour of the campus after showing us her classrooms. We saw the art/music building, the cafeteria, and the office. She wanted to make sure that no one was feeling frantic on the first day of school. She even outlined the drop-off and pick-up procedures. Then she took the kids back to her room, and the parents hung out for half an hour. She gave the kids lessons, and then let them all out. Carrick was the first one out the door, shaking his teacher's hand on the way out.

I went up to her after the children were all done shaking her hand. I expressed my concerns as a mother, how energetic my son was, and that I hoped everything would be ok. Her response was more than reassuring. She loves his curiosity, and regards that as a positive point. She said, "If he's bored with something, it's my job to find out how we can challenge him. Maybe he needs to spend time in the first grade room." (In Montessori, it's mixed ages.) She knows her stuff, and Carrick, as I imagined, is in good hands.

The simple fact that she meets with the first-timers before school even starts speaks volumes about her commitment to the parents and children. Carrick literally spent every night for the past week crying because he "doesn't know about kindergarten." (Even though we have talked about it, read books, and watched shows about kindergarten.) Now, he can walk through the gates on Wednesday with the rest of the school, a confident kindergartner.

Never Underestimate

On Independence Day, our family had the opportunity to spend the afternoon swimming. Even though Carrick has taken swim lessons all summer, I was trepidacious about letting him in the pool with no water wings on. They're like my security measure for him. I know he can swim, but he often takes breaks to put his feet down at his lessons.

So letting him swim in "the deep end" could be dangerous. He completely surprised me by jumping in the deep end (5 ft) with no water wings on. To my shock and amazement, he had no trouble swimming back to the ladder. Over and over again, he jumped in, swam to the ladder, and climbed out. I had greatly underestimated his swimming skills.

Yesterday, we were swimming with friends here in town, and I didn't even bother putting his water wings on. He had his new kick board, and there were two other mom friends with me. We all kept an eye out for the kids. This time, Lily grabbed my attention with her fearlessness. With her own set of water wings on, she boldy made her way down the broad steps.

First she put her hands down on the second step, and put her legs out behind her (like a push-up position.) I had never seen her play in the pool like that before. Then, she got up, and took another step down. This brought the water up to just under her chin. She had a big smile on her face, then, BAM! She stepped off the third stair and into water that was well over her head! She had her water wings on, so instead of sinking down, she just "stood" there, floating in the water. She wiggled around a bit, caught some water in her mouth, spluttered, then recovered. I simply could not believe what I was seeing!

In addition to my children's aquatic agility, they never cease to amaze me in other ways. In the past two weeks, Lily has exponentially grown her vocabulary. Every day, she learns two or three new words. I can say an entire sentence, and she knows what I'm saying. Just the other day, I handed her a pair of flip flops and I said, "take these to Carrick." Instead of sitting down to put them on herself, like she usually does, she walked down the hall, into his room, and handed him his flip flops. Phrases like "wash hands", "go potty", "shut door", and "change diaper" are not lost on her. She completely understands and responds. Up until a few weeks ago, I had underestimated her ability to understand words.

And Carrick...well, this was the inspiration for this whole entry...

Corey has a home office, and sometimes when he's at home, but unavailable, Carrick tends to get restless. He does stuff just for attention. I've been able to identify these moments of when he's really after Corey's attention, but demanding mine (becuase I'm available to give it to him.) Last night, Corey had some important things to finish up in his office. It was later in the evening, Lily was tired and whiney, and I was left to take care of bedtime.

I got Lily to sleep, and was able to give Carrick my undivided attention. Instead of letting him pick out a show, or even me trying to watch one of my grown up shows, I decided to try something new, something to break our routines, and share some time with Carrick. During a recent bout of declttering, I came across the missing dvds from our collection, one of which is my all-time favorite play/movie, " A Midsummer Night's Dream." I had also recently told Carrick (my own, shortened version) of the Borrower's story (which I am finishing up reading.) In this story, there is a "wild" Borrower boy named "Spiller". Carrick loves this character, and requests stories about him. So I make up bedtime stories about the wild little boy Borrower named Spiller. (Carrick identifies with him, no doubt.)

So, I pitched the "fairy story" to Carrick and mentioned that Spiller was in it. I fast-forwarded to the scenes that contained the woods and the fairies. I was not completely lying to him about Spiller being in the movie. Sure enough, there were several scenes with wild-looking nyphs that could pass for Spiller. In each scene, I would say, "Look, there's Spiller!"

With his interest piqued, I proceded to semi-narrate over the tedious Shakespearean dailogue. I explained simplified versions of what was happening. "Puck is going to put the flower juice on that guy's eyes. He wants him to love that other girl. She loves him, but he loves her best friend..." and so on. I even explained that the Fairy King was going to play a trick on his Queen. He was going to make her fall in love with something ugly, and then laugh like a joke about it.

To my utter amazement, he completely followed the storyline. He even asked questions about it! Now, if you've seen A Midsummer Night's Dream, you know that the plot gets kind of tangled. Who is tricking whom, who is in love with whom...but he was right there. And the cameos of Spiller just made it that much more fun.

At the end of the show, I told him that was my favorite movie. He declared, "I like it too." *Sigh* I just wanted to cry. Not only could I share one of my favorite things with this little boy whom I love so much, but I was so floored by his comprehension of what was going on. A kindergartener enjoying Shakespeare? Never underestimate your kids.  You'll only be cheating yourself out of an amazing experience.

Travel Mom

In ten days, I get to earn another gold star to go on my mommy merit badge. I already have one gold star on my "travel" patch. I got it last summer when I flew from Telluride to Indianapolis with a layover in Denver and two kids under 5 in tow. I had to plan that trip out months in advance. We had spent six weeks visiting in Telluride, and left directly from there to visit family before my sister's wedding. It was quite an undertaking, but I definitely earned my mommy merit badge for that. (Just to be clear, this is a metaphorical badge.)

So, this time around should be a piece of angel food cake. Granted, Lily is a whole year older, and can walk now, but her desire to be on or near me around strangers will work to my advantage. She is still nursing and still young enough that she takes naps, which will make the plane ride easier. Even if she doesn't nap (which I am sure she will) the plane ride will be a success. I am confident that my instincts as a mother, my impeccable packing skills (yes, I am one of those people who loves to pack) and my proactive planning will get me and the children to O'Hare from Sedona with no problem.

I actually relish the opportunity to travel solo with my two loves. Not only do I get to pacck for three people, I get to see the best in total strangers too. People are always willing to help out a mom. "Here, let me get that for you," "Can I carry something?" I have difficulty accepting help, sometimes. I just like to plow through and do it all myself. Even when I go to the grocery store alone with both kids, I refuse help out to the car from the bagger. "No thanks, I parked close." Last year, before we flew out of Telluride, my hubby gave me some sage advice, "Let people help you," he said. He knew my track record he with asking for and accepting help. It's a rule I ignore most of the time, but when we travel, I let go, and use the help that comes to me.

My secret to travel success and confidence, other than accepting help from others, came as an idea from a fellow mother. She and I have kids the same age, and regularly get together for play dates. Several years ago, she took her daughter to New York as a toddler. She said she wrapped up presents for her daughter to open on the trip. She said it was more about taking time during the trip to open the presents rather than the gift itself.

Ever since then, gift giving has been a travel tactic I have used with Carrick. So, last week, I made a trip to the Dollar Tree and spent $20.00 on small items I could pack for the kids that would make fun presents for them to open on the plane. I didn't just get toys, either. I bought new toothbrushes and toothbrush travel covers, chap stick, a board book that Lily could scribble on, bath loofahs, travel sized tissues with their favorite characters on the wrapper. Simple things. They didn't have to be big or expensive, just something. To a kid, anything wrapped up is a present, it's all on how you present the present.

I also made a point to buy them each their own kid's size suitcase with wheels. Since Carrick is old enough to have his own seat, he gets to have a carry-on as well as a personal item. So, we bought him a Lightning McQueen suitcase on wheels ("Just like Ethan has.") We also found his Space Angry Birds Backpack that has hardly been used, so that will serve as his personal item. I also bought him a new zipper pencil case that matches his backpack for his writing utensils. And for Lily, I bought her a cute lady bug suitcase on wheels. I decided that pushing a stroller and carrying a roll-aboard behind me would be too cumbersome. Instead, I'm just going to bring Lily's suitcase and a diaper bag as my 2 items. I have been gathering books, and toys to put in their bags that might be useful, and the night before we travel, I'll pack the presents.

I also had the forethought to borrow a stroller for the trip. We own a double stroller, a travel system stroller that matched her infant car seat, as well as a pink umbrella stroller. You'd think with three strollers, one of them would work for the trip. The issue lies with transportation once we arrive at our destination. We will be staying with my sister and her new husband, and they both own 4-door sedans. That means that I'll get to sit between two car seats in the back, when we're all going somewhere. (I refuse to drive in Chicago.) So, that puts my checked bag in the trunk and leaves very little room for a stroller. But, a stroller will be a necessity in the airport, so a middle-ground umbrella stroller fit the bill.

Even though our pink umbrella stroller is small enough, the handles are low and the wheels get sticky. It was a free hand-me-down from a friend. Lily likes us to push her around the house in it, but it's not practical for expeditious airport travel, nor for long walks in the big city. So, I asked another friend if I could borrow her Chicco brand umbrella stroller for the trip. It has a big shade canopy, the ability to recline, bag storage underneath, and has high enough handles to be comfortable pushing around. Plus, it folds up small enough to fit at my feet in the back seat. It has the features of the big stroller, but the compact size of an umbrella stroller.

As backup transportation, I plan to also bring the Ergo, that way, I can nurse Lily on-the-go if necessary. It will keep Lily contained and me comfortable on the plane. And if Carrick gets tired when we're out and about, I can put him in the stroller and carry Lily in the Ergo. (No need for the double stroller.) Between the Ergo and the umbrella stroller, I'll be able to quickly, comfortably and easily transport both kids. (Carrick might walk next to me in the airport, but I have to be prepared for the "I'm tired" song and dance.)

The last leg of my preparation involves snacks. Carrick came up with the idea of packing his lunch bag with snacks. We will hit the grocery store the day before we go and get the organic or "healthier" alternative to Carrick's favorite treats. For example, I prefer to pay a little extra to get him Annie Organic Gummy Bunnies as opposed to the regular fruit gummies at Safeway. (I'm one of those moms who reads labels and doesn't purchase High Fructose Corn Syrup products.) I also want to get the kids their own little box of seaweed snacks. They come in little papers and are crunchy, like chips. I got some for myself a week ago, and the kids actually liked them. Pecans and cashews will also be on the travel menu, and of course, Luna Bars.

What a fun time we are going to have visiting family! Corey gets to take a week off work and will fly out the week after we do. We will get to spend our Tenth Anniversary at Argyle Lake State Park where we exchanged vows, and do some hiking. Then, it's off to a wedding! Corey's cousin will be getting married while we are there too. (We actually planned the trip around their wedding and our anniversary.) So, with all my planning and forethought, I think we'll be able to enjoy some smooth sailing.

Sleepovers

During the non-school, mostly schedule-free days of summer vacation, I find myself perched on the tip of a double edged sword. On the one side, I get to spend time with my children. We get to meander through our days with relatively no time commitments, except for the ones we create for ourselves. We are not beholden to anyone, or anything, unless we choose it (like swim lessons).  But on the other side of that sword is the tension that can arise from the uncertainty of no schedule. The "boredom" of staying in the house when the sun is the most intense. (We are fair-skinned folks in the desert, in a state that has the second highest skin cancer rate in the world after Australia.) The kids get restless, and so do I. We make play dates, pool dates, park meet ups and have dinner with friends with kids. But still, there is a lingering tension.

Thank goodness for sleepovers! A day when two kids can just play together till their heart's content, and jabber the night away until they both pass out. One set of parents gets a reprieve from one (or both, or whatever) kids being stuck in the house, and the other set of parents gets to (mostly) relax because their kid is just so happy to play with a friend. No one has to leave after dinner, no one has to say goodbye.

Carrick and Ethan, about the
age of their first sleepover.

Carrick went on his first sleepover when he was two years old. He has had the same "best friend" since he was born. I was best friends with a gal I worked with while we were both pregnant. So, these two boys have literally hung out since before birth. So, leaving my two-year-old at my best friend's house was a no-brainer. I knew he would be just fine. I had no worries that he would be scared, or want to come home (although we were prepare for that, just in case it happened.) Since that first sleepover, we have shared about a dozen sleepovers with the same family. Each time a success.

Tonight, it's "our turn" for a sleepover. Carrick's best friend's folks get to have a night off together, and Carrick gets to do the one thing he's been begging to do all summer...have a sleepover. I am yielding my tidiness for the night, and just letting them play. I'm not going to try to pick up toys after them, or police them too much. They play pretty well together, and they are now at that age where they actually understand about how to share, take turns, and communicate about how they feel. The earlier days of sleepovers meant a constant eye, just in case their young brains thought it a good idea to hit, or throw toys, ya know?

What I will do is have a spread of snacks on hand. I don't want to be constantly in the kitchen. I just want to listen to them have their hilarious conversations about Angry Birds, Star Wars, swimming skills, dinosaurs, and Digimon. They totally get each other. As my son grows older, and doesn't need his mom as much, I enjoy seeing a side of him that comes out when he's really in his element; when he gets to play with his best friend, be totally understood by someone, and just be a kid. That's what summer vacation is all about.

Where is Mary Poppins?

Dishes, laundry, meals. Three things that everyone has to deal with on a daily basis. Unless you are one of the minority privileged who has someone else hired to do these things for you, they become a part of your daily routine. Some people ignore one or more of these essential tasks, and the chaos that is left in the wake is almost not even worth it. Either that, or you just end up spending way more money on them than you would otherwise. (Not making a meal means you eat out. Not doing laundry means you either have to buy new clothes, or hire someone to do it for you.)

And those tasks that are a daily "must" become compounded when you have children. They play, they get dirty. They need food every twenty minutes. How are parents supposed to keep up with the demand of daily life and remember to enjoy time with their kids?

I think that part of the answer lies in the training and "programming" of our young ones. When I was growing up, my mother loved to cook. She loved to garden. And she loved spending time in her sewing fort. (She had like 4 sewing machines and she sat in the middle of them, surrounded by fabric making dresses for me and my sister.) She was a creative person and didn't want to be hindered by having to commit to such mundane tasks as washing dishes or putting away laundry.

My father, on the other hand, was neat as a pin, dutiful, and tidy. It was his job every Saturday when mom was at work, to rouse his lazy daughters off the couch after Saturday Morning Cartoons were over and put us to work. Sometimes we would organize and collect recycling from around the house. Sometimes we had to dry and put away dishes. It was never fun. Part of it was his attitude towards it. He made it seem boring. And when we looked at our example of mom, we adopted the attitude that housework had to be boring.

Any way you slice it, the programming that my sister and I received as children was, "Housework is a boring activity." No one ever made housework a Mary Poppins event with snaps, whistles, and music. I think if I had seen either of my parents putting that kind of show on over housework, I would have asked for a new apron for Christmas!

So, my gift to my son is to do housework (especially the big three: Dishes, Laundry and Meals) the way I would have liked to do it as a kid. Thanks to newer technology, I can bring my laptop and Pandora with me anywhere in the house. I can transform even the most boring jobs into a fun dance party. My parents were not without music. We had a perfectly good boom box with tapes that we could have listened to, so the technology doesn't matter, its the environment and the attitude that make the difference.

I also decided that since my son is five, he is old enough to start helping with some of these activities. (I don't like the word chore.) To get him used to helping out (remember, even though he is 5, the concept of helping out around the house is relatively new. Until he was 4, he couldn't really and truly help and understand about it.) So, I used a method that I do remember working for me when I was a child.

In 5th grade, I went to a new school, Central Middle School. It was a big deal. Up until then, my life had revolved around walking a half a block to the elementary school. Now I was an entire town away. I felt older, more responsible, and less like a child. I didn't mind giving up part of my recess after lunch. It was for a good cause. I had enlisted myself as a lunchroom helper. Every day after lunch I would get a bucket of water and a rag from the lunch ladies and wipe down the lunch tables. When I returned my rag and bucket to the kitchen, I would get to pick a Fun Size candy bar from their giant bowl of treats. It was heaven. Baby Ruth, Snickers, Reese's Cups. It really was a great motivator to have that extra little bit of sugar in my day.

So last week, I started the same thing with Carrick. Wiping off the table after lunch (because he is home for the summer) is a task that he can physically do, and do it properly. It gives him an immediate result as well as reward. He can actually see that the table is clean. Then his payoff is instantaneous. He gets to pick a treat from the treat bowl (I found an old bowl with Halloween stuff still in it recently.) The bowl has bubbles, suckers, fake teeth, all kinds of goofy things. And after a week of doing it, the candy stash has run low, so I went to the store and bought organic fruit gummy packs to replace the artificial sugar treats. He loves the gummy bunnies. We don't buy them regularly as a family, so he thinks they are a wonderful treat. Everybody wins.

I am optimistic that I can start integrating more and more responsibility and household activities to my sweet little 5-year-old. By the time school starts, I will have a morning star chart for him, because kindergarten starts in August. All day, everyday. My goal is to empower him in his morning routines. Especially since I plan to return to work this fall. Either way, setting the example and making household activities enjoyable is my job as the mother. I'm with the kids all day, so it's up to me. I think I'm up to the task.