My Perfect Birth

As I stated in my first entry of this birth story segment, back in March, a wise lady once said, "Every birth is perfect because it brings a human life into this world."After going through two trimesters of pregnancy myself, I had my own perfect birth allll planned out (you know, because we have total control over what we really want, right?) In my last trimester, I wanted to have prenancy pictres taken as well as have a blessing way and a baby shower. I had asked our friend whom Corey told first (Cathy) if she would mind taking nude pictures of me a Corey. I wanted them black and white, not revealing anything, just celebrating my very pregnant body and our figures together. More classy than sexual. She had done nude photos in college and we were very comfortable with her as our photographer. I had also debated about whether or not to have her at the birth to photgraph it. I still wasn't sure I wanted the extra person at the birth, but I figured that in the ten weeks I had left, I could make up my mind.

I also wanted to have a Blessing Way. This is a tradition that Katie, my doula told me about. It's for women only. The pregnant woman kind of makes up her own Blessing Way, so each one is different. The basic idea is that the women get together to bless the new baby before it's born and to give the mother some token to use during labor. The jist of it is that the tokens given are used as a reminder to the mother during labor of her own feminine power, that she is in control of her birth, no matter what happens, and that her body will do what is necessary. Some women have the attendees bring a bead each. Then they sit in a circle and as a string is passed around, they each put their bead on the string, blessing the mother and child, saying words of encouragement. Then the mother wears the necklace during the birth and is reminded of all the wonderful things her girlfriends said to her and it gives her the strength to keep going. I wanted everyone to bring a plant of some sort. I wanted to give birth in the middle of the woods right in my own home. So I wanted to set the plants up and make like a birth sanctuary in my bathroom.

The third thing I wanted to have happen before giving brith was of course, to have a baby shower. As first time parents, we did not want to wait until the baby arrived to get all the necessary items.

So, I had three things I wanted to experience before becoming a mother. I also had a very clear picture of what I wanted my birth to be like. It was part of an exercise my midwife had given me as "homework" in my second trimiester. She asked me to write up a birth plan. (I also took it a step further and drew a picture of what I wanted my birth to look like.) My birth plan was to have Shell, Maryn, Katie, Corey (and possibly Cathy) at my birth. The supervising midwife, the person who worked with me during pregnancy, a doula, a photographer, and myself. I wanted to have a pool of water set up in our bathroom. I wanted the four palm trees we had as house plants to be set up in and around the bathtub (as well as all the other plants from the Blessing Way.) I wanted my midwife to be the one to do as much of the medical stuff as possible, and if necessary, Shell could step in. I wanted Katie to make sure that Corey was fed and never left my side. I also wanted her around to so intermittent massage if necessary during the "hard" labor. I had a list of things I wanted to do during the last stage of labor, take a hot shower, listen to a preapproved list of music, and sit on an exercise ball with my arms on the countertop to name a few. When it came time for the baby to be born, I wanted Maryn to assist Corey in catching the baby.

Under no circumstances did I want any kind of drugs used during labor. I did not want any foreceps used either. ( I didn't know if midwives used those horrible contraptions, but I wanted to be clear, just in case.) I also made it abundantly clear that if I had to be transferred to a hospital for any reason, I absolutely refuse to let the doctor perform a C-section. I wanted my midwife, doula, and husband to be totally informed about this descision, as it was my greatest fear still lingering around my birth.

Once the baby was born, I did not want the umbilical cord cut. I wanted it the placenta cured and placed in a bag so that we could do a lotus birth. I wanted the cord to fall off naturally when the baby was ready. I also wanted the baby to be placed on my belly, skin to skin, and start it nursing right away.

That was my perfect birth, all planned out, and ready to go. Now I just needed to wait and be pateint while the baby finished its growing for ten more weeks.

Another week went by, I was at nine weeks left and was still worrying about the safety of my baby. I had danced pretty hard at massage school one day, and the baby had been quiet ever since that. Had I overtaxed my body? Did I harm the baby somehow by doing too much too fast? I decided that another ultrasound was necessary for me to feel better for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was going to make an appointment on that Monday, after begining my 31st week of pregnancy. However, I got distracted. I took our car in for an oil change and was told that we needed something repaired on our old 1995 Buick that would be more than the car was worth. So, Corey told me to go car hunting that afternoon. The next day, I showed him the cars I had found at the various dealerships. We test drove a 2004 Prius and loved it. We signed the papers and applied for a credit union loan at 5%! We had to wait a day for them to process the paperwork because it was at the close of the day when we applied for it. That brought us to Wednesday, January 28th, 2009. Corey and I were just sitting around, waiting for the news that our loan application was accepted so that we could go pick up our new car....