Doing things now instead of later, that's the mantra of being proactive. I have kind of been doing this with Carrick for the past several weeks anyway. In my previous blogs, I discussed being slow with a toddler, or giving attention whenever it's asked. These are both examples of being proactive. Stopping the problem before it starts. That's the name of the game.
Acting in a proactive manner gets things done and thus creates more time down the road. Instead of dealing with a screaming child, I am given more time becuase his needs have been met. I have to say that the biggest ingredient to being proactive with a two-year-old is (again) giving time/attention whenever it's being requested. Not only does this keep things from escalating to a tantrum level, it keeps parents and children more calm. If your child isn't freaking out at you becuase they've already said, "Dad, dad, dad, dad" (or mom) a million times, you're not going to be freaking out either. I can feel that my blood pressure, adrinaline and stress levels all are lower becuase of acting proactively with Carrick.
A simple example from our lives about being proactive: I watch my friend's kiddo once a week while she's at work. Carrick and her son are best buds (since birth). They play and get along famously, except when Carrick is tired. We used to let the kids play until Carrick would start pulling hair. (He even bit his little friend once too.) Not only would I get super angry at him for doing this, he would get upset when his friend would cry as a result of his actions. So, we would have two crying kids and two excited moms trying to calm them down and teach them a lesson about hair pulling, or sticking up for yourself, depending on who the mom was.
I noticed that Carrick only did this behavior when he was tired. When I would watch the two kids together, I needed a way to effectively deal with them so that they wouldn't escalate the situation further. I couldn't comfort them both at the same time, and I couldn't very well put Carrick to sleep while his friend was in the house. So, I started putting the boys in their car seats and taking a ride while they both cooled down a bit. Can you imagine my surprise when Carrick and his friend both fell asleep in the car?
As a result, when Carrick starts to act tired when his friend is over (and I am by myself with the kids) I put them both in their carseats straight away and drive them around. I don't wait for the action to begin, I don't wait for a tear in the eye, I just nip it in the bud. So, for a week or two, the boys have been playing so much nicer at our house becuase I don't let them get frustrated or angry with each other.
Proactivity in the works.
More on Habit #1 next time....
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