So, after sitting down with my own priority square as discussed in my previous entry, I came up with some amazing discoveries. I realized, foremost, that I had already been putting my energy into quadrant #2 for a while. I looked back at my older posts and confirmed what I had discovered. Doing the things that take time to include/explain to Carrick are all a part of this quadrant. These are things that are very important for me to do as a mother, but are not ever really urgent. The things like teaching him about how to peel a carrot, or take out the compost, or what goes into the trash can, or how to say a word, or even two words together...all those tiny little lessons that he's mostly only going to learn from me all fall into the second quadrant.
I started teaching him about trash as part of my exercise for habit #2, the end being I wanted him to help throw away all the wrapping paper after Christmas. So, I took the time the week before to show him the trash can, and said, "Trash". "Tahsh," he repeated, as he dropped a wadded up wrapper into the trash can. Then I showed him that after he was done with his snack, that wrapper could go in the trash as well. So everyday, he would come up to me with his hand out, saying "tahsh, tahsh, tahsh" until I opened up the door below the sink and let him throw away whatever was in his hand. This took some time. I had to explain to him a couple times that the things he wanted to throw away were not trash, like a toy, or a piece of clothing. Just because it's on the floor, doesn't make it trash. He didn't help out on Christmas, because I actually had a bag ready for whatever was unwrapped, so there was minimal trash to be picked up, but I put the process in place....by taking the time. The time I took could have been spent vacuuming, or doing dishes, or hanging up clothes, but instead, I put myself on pause to fulfil what turned out to be an activity in quadrant #2.
Backtracking a little, I would like to share what I ended up putting in my quadrants to perhaps help those of you who are struggling with what to put where. In quadrant #1, I have these things listed: Carrick getting injured, getting food ready for Carrick/myself, changing a poopy diaper, intervening an argument with Carrick and another child when babysitting, answering the phone if Corey calls, taking Corey lunch if he needs it. These are all things that are important and are the most urgent things that might occur in my day. I put the food things in here too because, even though I can plan for meals, Carrick is a growing boy and wants food pretty frequently, so I need to be ready with something to put in his mouth at any given moment. It's urgent and important. As a stay-at-home household director, it is also my duty to support the one who supports me, my husband. So if he forgot his lunch that day, I drop what I'm doing to take him his lunch at work. He needs it and I need to get it to him.
In quadrant #2, I have many of the things that I like to do anyway. Things like updating this blog, taking time to be mommy, or wife, putting the clothes away after the laundry is done. These are things that need attending too, but could easily be written off, postponed, ignored, or "I'll get to it later/eventually". This is perhaps the pitfall of the quadrant that should be getting more of our attention than the others. Because things in this category are not urgent, they can seem not important. Make sure that you are aware of this distinction. Urgent relates to time, importance relates to significance.
In quadrant 3, I find myself sitting on the couch with Corey at the end of the night watching reruns of Futurama on Netflix "Watch Instantly". This activity is urgent because Corey is at home right now, which is time I need to make good use of. Our time together is precious, so if he feels like veging out on the couch, I want to hang out with him. However, this activity is way up there on the unimportant list. We could be making use of our time together to read to Carrick, or to go for a walk when it's nice out. But sometimes, the urge to do nothing takes over. Other things that fall into this category for me are emails. Most of them need responding in a timely manner, but they have very little significance in my day. Phne calls are something else that can go into this quadrant. If my mom calls, I sometimes don't answer because I am otherwise engaged in something and even though it's urgent, it's probably not important. She and I talk several times a week, so usually whatever it is can be communicated later or left in a voicemail.
This brings us to our last quadrant, #4, the quadrant of time-wasters. These are things that are neither urgent, nor important. This is the quadrant that if we can eliminate or greatly reduce the activities spent here, we will free up more time to spend in the more important quadrants of #1 and 2. As a result of my own quadrant session, I decided to delete my gaming account on facebook. I had already greatly reduced my time spent on these games, but I was still getting posts from friends, and notices via email. These are things that I must later click through during my day. Every click matters, and every click is a moment of my life spent. So, if I reduced my clicks, I would reduce the time spent in Q4.
So, now that I have given you a snapshot of what kinds of things I do in a day, and where they fall on the priority list, try this activity on your own. How does it relate to you as a parent? What kinds of shifts would you like to see in your time spent? What actions can you take to give yourself more time in Q2, where the time spent there will lay foundations and deepen relationships?
In the next installment, I want to pull these three habits in for a review. They are all the more personal habits of the seven. The last four are more outward, working on your interaction with others. So until then, Happy Parenting!
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