As I move along in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I come to the End...that is to say that the end being in sight and a goal to be reached is the theme of Habit #2. Begnining with the end in mind means that your desired outcome is in the forefront of your actions and words.
This one, I have found, has been one of the more naturally occuring habits for me. When I deal with Carrick, I usually think to myself, "if I want this to happen with him, what do I need to do to get there?" It's a habit of looking down the path and following it back to where you're standing.
In a typical day with Carrick, I have two or three major outcomes that I want to see happen: have a lunch ready for him (it's the one meal that my husband isn't around for, so the full responsiblilty to feed Carrick is mine), set him up for a sucessful nap time, and have as few moments of unecessary crying (from him) as possible. The third of these is an ongoing challenge, and I'll discuss it in depth in my next entry. The first outcome doesn't require too much thinking ahead aside from timing it for when Carrick usually gets hungry for lunch.
My focus for Habit #2 today will be Nap Time. This one is delicate in our house. I have to do everything just right and in a certain order, otherwise, naptime either doesn't happen, OR I end up spending a good deal of my time putting him to sleep with nursing. The end is: Carrick sleeping alone in his bed with the door ajar. The begining is: After lunch, usually around 12:30, we get ready to go to the car for our "Nap Ride". Hat, coat, water, shoes, one toy for Carrick and a notebook or reading material for me all come with us.
After a couple months of doing this, I narrowed down our nap route to just one road, Historic 89A. We head around the corner and start on the curving, winding road that leads through Oak Creek Canyon. I chose this route becuase as I hug the curves, Carrick is lulled to sleep by the back and forth motion. Next, I turn on the local NPR station and listen to classical music. I turn it down low, and after several stunningly beautiful miles, Carrick yawns and rolls his head to the side, dropping off into dreamland. The first half of my contribution to nap time is done. This is usually the time when I pull out on a trailhead and read my book, or do some writing. Serene and peaceful next to Oak Creek, he's snoring and I'm in total bliss.
After we return home, I take everything in from the car first, open up the front door and go back to the car to get Carrick. I carefully unhook the carseat buckles and pull his arms through. I lean in, and catch his head on my shoulder, and hoist him up out of the car. Giving me his full wieght, he is hunch over my shoulder and we walk into the house to his bedroom. Here is the moment of truth, will my outcome happen? Have I set it up properly? Is he asleep enough that he won't be disturbed when I place him ever so gently on the bed? 95% of the time, yes, he will let me place him on the bed and close the door gently behind me.
I thought that this routine was a little much for just getting him to sleep, but then I realized that not only is this the begining of another end, weaning, it's also a routine that he's used to. Sticking to what I know works is also a part of it. If I don't go through the routine just right, he wakes up and I have to nurse him back to sleep. I know this becuase the few times I have had other people in the car on the nap ride, he doesn't sleep. Or if we are listening to something too stimulating, he won't fall asleep. Or if we take anothe road, there is too much for him to look at. With just shady trees mile after mile, he's kind of hypnotized to sleep.
Also, since he has never slept in a crib, it's not like I can just put him in his bed and hope he falls asleep eventually, becuase he can crawl right out. I also look foward to the repose of the canyon everyday. Driving along Oak Creek is one of my favorite things to do.
Sometimes, I get to the end of the Canyon and Carrick hasn't fallen asleep yet. Before I acted proactively, this used to really eat at me. But then, I sought a solution, instead of letting the circumstances upset me. Now, I get out at one of the campsites that's closed and He and I explore together. This gives him a chance to burn off any extra lingering energy, plus it's just a fantastic time breathing in the pine scented air and splashing our hands in the small, cold trickle of Oak Creek that runs through the campground. He has no trouble falling asleep on the trip back down the canyon after this.
So, step two, for all you parents out there, look for times throughout your day when you can look ahead to what you want to have happen, and find ways to set things up so that you get the desired outcome.
More on Habit #2 next time.
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