Habit # 7 is all about taking time for oneself for renewal. Through renewal, we find the strength and focus we need to practice and continually master the six habits. If we find ourselves burning the candle at both ends and not taking time out for ourselves, we can quickly run into a pattern of forgetting the practice of the seven habits. If you are too exhausted or frustrated from life, are you going to remember to choose your responses and be proactive? If you are bogged down at work are you going to be thinking win/win with a coworker? Probably not. So, what to we need to do is to "Sharpen the Saw" as Habit 7 is so aptly named.
Dr. Covey came up with four areas of self renewal. They are: Physical, Mental, Spiritual, and Emotional/Social. Physical means we attend to the physical self, the body, the hard-wiring. So, things like exercise and eating a healthy diet are ways to renew our physical self. Mental represents participating in activities that challenge the brain. Writing, reading, problem solving, and creative expression like drawing or painting are all ways we can focus on our mental renewal. Spiritual renewal deals with what you hold near and dear, your values system, your "core" as Dr. Covey calls it. Ways to give this area attention is to practice a religion, meditate, or even listen to music or sit in silence. Find something that nourishes your soul. And lastly, Social/Emotional is slightly different from the other three areas because it is something we can practice all the time without taking special time out of our day to do it. However, do actually focus on it as an area, we need to be aware of what we are doing in social situations, like practicing habits 4, 5, and 6, which deal with our interactions with others. This is what Dr. Covey recommends in his book as a way to practice Sharpening the Saw for the Social/Emotional area of renewal.
What I like about Habit 7 is that it might be a personal journey, but my family can go along for the ride. Many of the activities mentioned previously can be done solo or with an entourage. Having a family music night or dance party celebrates the spirit and thus nourishes everyone's spiritual component of the self. Or spending time at a museum, seeing new things, and learning could be a family activity that gives strength to the Mental aspect of the self. Or you can do something on your own to sharpen the saw, like going to the local Barnes & Noble or the local library. Or, attend a yoga class to sharpen the physical saw by yourself. There are endless options to sharpening the saw.
And now....For the piece de resistance....the conclusion of my encounter with Carrick's Daycare provider....
In February, Carrick's daycare was closed for the day because the pipes were frozen there. We received a call early in the morning bearing the frigid news. It just happened to be on the day I was having my wisdom teeth extracted, so I was less than enthused. I found a backup childcare provider that day, but was never told about what would happen with the day I had already paid for at daycare. His provider never brought up whether she would credit that day or give us a makeup day or what. So, when it came time to pay March tuition, she had little sticky notes with each child's name on them folded up. Inside was the dollar amount we were to pay for March. The amount on Carrick's slip of paper was not only the full amount for March, meaning there was no credit for the unexpected day closed, but she was charging me for the day she would be closed during spring break!
In my head, this didn't make sense. She was collecting money for services not rendered. If she's closed, she's not watching my child, and if she's not watching my child, I'm certainly not going to pay her.
So, all day, from the time I dropped Carrick off until I went to the daycare to pick him up, I was putting the seven habits in motion. I had to think proactively and choose how I responded to this. I had one shot. If I made an emotional plea, I may not get the desired outcome, yet if I'm too soft, I won't get what I want either. So, I thought of several opening lines throughout the day and finally came up with one. I had to begin with the end in mind. My end was: either have her watch Carrick for two makeup days or have the amount for those days taken off March tuition. I thought of several ways I could navigate myself and the conversation to that end. One thing I knew for certain, I needed to be talking to her face to face and one on one, no other parents could be in on our conversation. I had to put first things first. This was an urgent and important discussion. It needed to happen that day, I couldn't wait until later. Tuition was due, and I was fully prepared to not pay it and withdraw Carrick if I wasn't pleased with the outcome. So, the talk was a quadrant 1 activity.
As the time drew closer, I put on my positivity hat and began to think win/win. It occurred to me that her insisting on getting paid for the week that she's closed might have something to do with needing the money. I went in thinking that this might be the case and not to be surprised if she wanted the full amount. Now, for synergy. I thought to myself, "I have a better shot at getting what I want if she does the talking. I learned from my husband who is in sales, most of the time if he steps back, the customers will talk themselves into buying a piece from the gallery. So I intended to use this strategy and hopefully we would come up with something that would work for both of us.
So, when I went to pick up Carrick, I asked if Corey had signed Carrick up for another day of daycare and didn't tell me because I was being charged for five days in March. I played dumb, and let her talk. It was non-threatening and not emotional, just a way to bring up a potentially charged or awkward, but necessary discussion. She explained that the parents were paying for her vacation the week she was closed. Then I asked, "so, we're not going to get credited for the day you were closed in February when your pipes froze?" She paused for a moment, then said, "I could do a makeup day. Would you like to bring him in on Wednesday? In fact, I could give you two Wednesdays, one for the February day, and one for the Spring Break day. Would that work?" Yes, that would be smashing. So, we both won. She got the money she needed and I received a service I was paying for. A delicate situation diffused by good planning and strategic use of the effective habits.
So, now that I am finished with the seven habits, I would like to encourage all of you to read the book. Also, if there are questions about anything I have posted, please feel free to email me directly or to post a comment. I would love to hear what you thought about this segment in my blog. Did it help? Did you learn anything new? Do you view your toddler in a different light?
Next month will begin a new chapter in my life's focus with myself, my toddler and my family and I am super-excited to share this with all of you...but you'll have to wait until March for the unveiling of the new topic. Until then, Happy Parenting!
So, we have officially covered all of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Being Proactive, Begin with the End in Mind, Put First Things First, Think Win/Win, Synergize, and Sharpen the Saw all work together to help you walk your walk everyday. They help you choose your thoughts and actions as opposed to being yanked around by emotions and outside factors.
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